Unearth your desires

Last week’s post was all about getting in touch with what you desire and doing more of what you love. But what if you can’t feel what those desires are anymore? What if your inner spark is dull or even feels like it’s gone out?

For starters, I don’t believe this spark ever does really go out… It may feel like it at times, but really it’s probably buried under layers of hurt, let downs, self-denial, repression, shutting down. Aargh.

So how do you unearth it again?

Reconnecting with your little girl or boy

From my work with clients over 12 years, a big piece of this work is about reconnecting with yourself as a young child. Even if you had a difficult and painful upbringing, it’s very likely that there is a time, perhaps when you were very, very young, when you were in touch with this Life quality. This precious time of innocence, boundless joy and wonder ruled by spontaneity and impulsivity.

My husband, a screenwriter, says he comes up with his best ideas when he is connected to his little boy who is brimming with creativity and curiosity. Even if you don’t connect with these qualities in your life now, you have felt them at some point, even if you’ve forgotten.

Healing the relationship with this young part 

Many of us are out of touch with ourselves as a little one. I work a lot with clients on healing this core relationship and foundation within themselves. This young, untouched part of yourself may have been hurt, rejected, unsupported, not loved, or made to feel like it didn’t belong.

Unsurprisingly, it may have retreated, safe behind closed doors. Or maybe you decided the world wasn’t a safe place for this vulnerable part to be, so you decided to lock it away yourself. There are many good reasons for why you might do this, but as you mature and are better equipped to deal with the world and its messiness, locking this part away only causes you more suffering. 

The little girl or boy inside is such an essential part of you, carrying qualities unique to you in abundance. Personally, I went about rediscovering and befriending my little girl again through IST sessions and then when I could feel her enough, I entered into a dialogue with her in writing to find out more about what she wanted. Her answers were always surprising and brilliantly simple, confounding my adult mind.

I was amazed to find  completely new ways of moving through the world once I’d addressed this estranged relationship. There was no longer such a need to always be in control, uphold my tough exterior and be fixated on results. I could be more playful, comfortable with feeling vulnerable and most importantly, present in the current moment – the thing kids are so naturally good at.

This young part knows wantings, love & life!

And this is what brings us back to the spark of life which fuels your wantings. Your little girl or boy knows exactly what she/he loves.

Sure your desires may be a bit different and more sophisticated now than when you were 3 – maybe watching hours of cartoons just won’t cut it anymore (but maybe it will?). The important thing is this young part inside has the know-how. She/he knows what being truly alive feels like. It’s completely and utterly natural to do what you love and follow your desires, from this part of yourself.

How to do this important work?

No matter how terrifying, foreign or awkward it may seem, at one point you will need to hand over the reins – or at least share the driving – with your little girl/boy in order to be lead by what you love and want in life.

It’s important to do this in an authentic way as it’s sensitive, deep work. IST is perfect for healing and reconnecting with the young part inside, and to ignite the wantings and passion it contains. Get in touch today to book a session or find out more about how ISIS works, and take significant steps along the road to living a fulfilling and rich life that you love.

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