Keep your New Year vision alive

First of all, a very Happy New Year to you! I hope you welcomed in the new year in the way you wanted. Now the festivities are winding down, a whole fresh new year awaits you, ready to be filled with your dreams and aspirations.

Some of you may steer clear of New Year’s resolutions. Many of you may still have clear intentions, goals or aspirations for the year. But how do you keep these alive and actually manifest them throughout the year after the initial enthusiasm wears off?

Creating goals based on what YOU want

The first thing to ask yourself is, are your goals what you really want? Or are they generic and based on cultural norms, ie. drinking less, getting fit, eating well. Boring! Or are they want you THINK you should want, or what your mum/partner/boss/best friend/inner critic wants for you?

I needed to do deep work on myself, mainly using the ISIS technique, to separate out from the layers of conditioning from society, family and friends, and move through emotional blocks. Only then did I know what I actually wanted and how I really wanted to feel. Your core feelings and wantings can so easily get covered, compromised and even repressed due to various pressures, dynamics and issues for instance, wanting to please others, fear of being seen, and not wanting to hurt people.

A good test for whether your goals are based on your true wantings, and are juicy and rich enough to get you through the year is this question:

Does this goal excite me? If the answer is no, scrap it.

Not another should-do list!

For some of you, creating goals may invoke dread, another ‘should’ in your life, something else that you HAVE to do. To be honest, I’ve generally fallen in this category. Reflecting on this, I realised that I often create goals from a serious, organised, planning part of myself. What if it was fun and light? What if it was enriching?

Luckily, a dear friend gave me Danielle Laporte’s The Desire Map just in time. During the last few days of 2013, I was fortunate enough to work through her process of creating ‘goals with soul’ with my partner on a short break away. Laporte’s process is ingenious – she guides you through some deep work to uncover how you want to feel – what she calls your Core Desired Feelings – and only once you know what these are do you start creating goals that generate these feelings.

How do you want to feel?

We are all feeling humans, it’s what we do. Feeling good in the myriad ways we can is the juice of life and what makes it worth living. This feeling approach makes so much sense to me. I’ve achieved a few big things in my life yet didn’t feel the pride, fullness and joy I was told I would. Instead, I felt deflated. Yet experiencing real and intimate connections with people, when I really ‘see’ them, leads me to radiate joy, fullness and love. Society tells me getting a promotion, earning a big wage or being the best is what to aim for, but why would I if I’m not going to feel how I most want to feel at the end of it?!

Getting clear on how you truly want to feel can inform not only your goals for the year/month/week, but every moment, action and decision. I’ve even started considering whether my wardrobe assists me in feeling how I want to. Maybe it’s time to wear clothes that make me feel more Radiant and Bountiful – two of my Core Desired Feelings.

The key is to keep coming back to the feelings. As soon as goals, action lists and plans start feeling empty or like a ‘should’ – re-frame it in terms of how it’s going to make you feel. Sometimes simply rewording it can make all the difference.

Day by day, week to week

There’s no denying that there’s still a need to narrow down your goals to monthly intentions, weekly action plans and daily to-do lists in order to stay on track. We are just too good at getting distracted, ‘forgetting’ what’s really important to us, and letting time pass us by. Even still, if each of these plans or action lists stems from a desire to feel the way you really want to feel, then they stay fresh, juicy, exciting – something you actually WANT to do rather than HAVE to.

What about you?

Does goal-setting inspire dread or excitement? When has goal-setting really worked for you? And what are your goals for the year? I’d love to hear from you in the comments. And if you want to receive more heartfelt guidance on various self-development topics plus some great free resources on relationships, sign up here to my e-list.

5 replies

Trackbacks & Pingbacks

  1. […] In contrast, what are the quiet callings of your spirit at the moment? What do you most need? What are you ripe for, ready to open to or be? How do you feel when you’re most alive and what can you do to cultivate these feelings more?  […]

Leave a Reply

Want to join the discussion?
Feel free to contribute!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *