To want & fear change

‘Will my life be turned upside down?!’ – one of the most common questions I get asked by people when it comes to ‘looking at your issues’. The question often indicates to me that the person already knows there are aspects of their life out of alignment with who they truly are.

But it’s a tricky one because there are opposing forces within this question. I often perceive a strong desire to resolve their issues whatever it takes; they’ve had enough of being stuck or in pain. At the same time, there’s a deep fear that this may shake up, or even worse, destroy what they’ve built (like their intimate relationship or career).

Being true to You

It’s ok to be scared, we all are. It’s also important to accept that the fearful part of you won’t  commit to looking at ‘your stuff’. But (and it’s a big BUT) this is not all you are, in fact, it’s a very small part of you! Much of the work I do with clients reveals aspects of themselves that are incredibly capable, connected, open, loving, vibrant and powerful.

So one answer to this question could go like this:

When you move through what’s holding you back, your life will come in to alignment with who you truly are.

Some things and people may drop off, which can be very sad and you may need to honour this loss. Still the question remains: do you want to be surrounded by people and activities that don’t support and reflect who you really are?

No regrets, only gratitude

dont-fear-changeI can say for myself, when I looked inside, my life did change a lot but only for the good in the end. For instance, I did leave my boyfriend but I hadn’t been growing with him, and I went on to find an incredible man more suited to me than I ever dreamed possible.

From a life where I felt lost and directionless, working a job in which I was half-engaged; I’m now doing what I love and my life is rich, dynamic and full. From being stuck in unhealthy relationships and a sex life I couldn’t enjoy, I now experience deep intimacy, vibrancy and joy through my intimate relationship, sex life and connected friendships.

Stronger than you think

So did it turn my life upside down? Not all at once. But at times, yes. And thank god! I came to realise how strong I actually was – my confidence and capacity to move through challenges only increased. I became less scared of change the more I embraced it.

I came to see change as a friend bringing me closer to what is true.

True or safe

When things get tough walking this path (and sometimes they do), I imagine myself at the end of my life, about to die. What is going to matter then? That I was true to myself, to what I love, pursuing truth? Or that I did what made me feel safe, comfortable and secure?

You are not alone

As this fear of change and destruction is a deep one, it helps to remember that you don’t have to do it alone and others have done it before you. When you start working on yourself, you might feel isolated – the only one in your circle of friends – as was the case for me. But I followed the calling, and yes some friends fell away but others filled their place. Teachers, mentors, fellow seekers all started appearing in my life, giving me the much-needed support, advice and inspiration I needed.

Not as bad as you think

Another thing to remember is it’s rarely as bad as you think it’s going to be. The mind has a incredible knack for imagining the worst, and making you think it’s going to be unbearable, not worth it, don’t do it! This mechanism is particularly evident when working with clients in ISIS, but it applies equally to life.

Treasures in the unknown

a_light_in_the_dark_caveImagine this… my client (eyes closed, lying down) is deeply immersed in their inner space when they perceive a dark, seemingly bottomless hole beneath them. Their mind is saying, ‘don’t go in there! It’s dangerous! You won’t get out!’. As I draw their attention to the tangible sensation of being held and safe in the ISIS space, they slowly let their awareness be drawn down into the hole. It is dark, uncertain and unknown at first, but I encourage them to stay there and keep sinking down until they feel at ease.

Eventually they reach a bottom and here they find buried – a purity, innocence and light they disconnected from when they were very young. Reclaiming this brings a healing, fullness and clarity they’ve been craving. They have direct access again to an essential part within – an inner compass – allowing a global level of angst to just drop. This light is no longer obscured and they experience a deep peace that comes from resting in a knowing of oneself.

Take a guide

Had they not continued through the uncertainty, gone into the unknown, such a treasure would never have been rediscovered. Just as you’d rather take a guide and a good torch to explore dark underground caves, working with an ISIS practitioner allows you to feel safe, equipped and in good hands as you venture into your inner realms to resolve your issues.

A special offer for you

It can be daunting trying something new, so until 8 June I am offering a limited number of first-time ISIS sessions for half price (£45 for 1.5 hrs) so you can see whether this technique is right for you. Make sure you get in touch today to take up this offer.

I also offer free informal consultations, giving you the chance to let me know where you are at or what you want to work on. I can also tell you more in depth about the ISIS process. So contact me for a free consultation today.

What about you?

Do you resonate with both wanting and fearing change? And what have you done to move through the fear and be true to who you are? I’d love to hear your experiences in the comments, and it always helps others to know they’re not alone.

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