What would you find most difficult to let go of in your life?
Your loved one? Your work? Your creative pursuit? Your home? Your family?

What’s most difficult to let go of?

I propose that the thing you’d find most difficult to let go of and let die – isn’t anything or anyone external – it is your personality.

Some traditions refer to this as the ego; in Clairvision terms, it’s called the astral body: the emotions, belief systems and thoughts we live in by default.

Surrendering your life’s work

As I enter another phase of intensive meditation-type practices, I was joking with a friend that really what’s being asked of those who’ve committed to a spiritual path is to surrender your ‘life’s work’.

Essentially, letting go of all that you’ve created and are invested in.

That’s a big ask. And it requires a lot of courage, persistence and trust.

What makes you ‘you’

face maskAll your defences, convictions, constructions, habits, attitudes, beliefs – things which define you, which you think make you ‘you’ – are in the firing line.

From my personal experience, sometimes this can be a relief – like, that rigid, stingy part of me annoyed me and held me back, so I’m glad it’s gone. But at other times, it can really hurt to deconstruct parts you liked, that have protected you or given you a sense of being unique.

Not without a fight

And in general, the astral body or ego is never going to slip away without a fight. It doesn’t want to die, and will give you plenty of good reasons why you should stop this pursuit for Truth, or not step over that threshold which will change you forever.

Fear of being destroyed

During a long solo meditation stint, my friend’s consciousness was high up in spiritual realms in a state of Self or Being. He looked down and had a vision of his flimsy astral body cowering in fear, not wanting to be destroyed. Having spent his lifetime identified with it, he couldn’t help but feel compassion for it and its fear. He dropped down from these spaces of spiritual fire which would have meant its end.

Such moments are so decisive and can be utterly terrifying. A solid training in holding stillness and quietly moving through rather than being pulled into a reaction from the astral body is key. Even then, you just don’t know how you’ll respond until you’re in this position yourself.

Obscuring You

In many cases, aspects of your personality have developed in response to trauma or conditions in your life. They are effective at ‘holding you together’ or protecting yourself from getting hurt again, but the problem is – they are not really You.

They are walls or sheaths hiding the real You.

What is real?

higher-selfIt is a humbling pursuit, this work. Just when I think a part of me is real or presenced with my light, it gets deconstructed. It’s difficult to know what is real and will stand up to the fire of Truth. And it takes time to extract your sense of self from your personality and truly identify with your Higher Self.

If it dies, it wasn’t true

The only comfort you have is that no facet of your Higher Self will be destroyed as it is immortal. So if you feel a part of yourself dying, if you’re being asked to let go of something in yourself – you can rest in the knowing that it would dissolve at death anyway – it is not a part of your core.

There may still be grief, because we have sometimes spent a lifetime creating and investing in these parts of ourselves.

But the increased alignment with Truth and shining of your Light from behind the clouds which once obscured it, makes it worth it.


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1 reply
  1. Manuel ramos
    Manuel ramos says:

    Always goos ehat youwrite dear Emma.
    It is hard sometimes to let go what we think we are.
    But knowing (and experiencing in ist) that we are not all that things such as personality is a good beginning to allow the flame of truth work in ourselves. Thanks for the inspiration . What really help us to follow the path no matter how hard it is, is not only will and enthusiasm, it is also shared experiences as you do with us.


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